I’ve been cycling ever since my German Großmutter forced me onto my sister’s bike at age three. I loved it straight away. Twenty years later, I’m questioning that love. The culprit? Edinburgh.
A stunning city, but a death trap for real cyclists who don’t just ride for “kudos” on Strava. Here, cycling feels like an extreme sport, with death threats at every turn. Edinburgh’s roads are a disgrace. Even standing still, you can feel the bumps coming.
Bad infrastructure is one thing, but in Edinburgh, no one follows the rules. A busy crossroad, neatly sorted by power and colour. How civilis… oh, never mind. No one stops. Without traffic laws, things only get worse.
But Surge streams is about creating meaningful connections. So let’s make sense of this chaos. Put on your helmet and follow this slipstream.
Cycling in Edinburgh feels like Twitter* lately. Once a place for harmless scrolling, but now with Elon Musk behind the handlebars of this BMX, it’s a hell of a ride.
Like rain on cyclists, tweets pour down every minute. Ever since Musk’s (uncool) cold front rolled in, it’s more like snow and hail, blasting straight through your face. Cyclists in Edinburgh know that feeling. Potholes the size of buses turn into lochs; drivers plough through them like sport, and at crossings, frustration levels peak. Just like Twitter, Edinburgh never stops raining.
When bad weather hits, most people step off their bikes. Likewise, as thousands abandoned the social network for safer alternatives, only a select few still ride on the platform’s streets. And oh boy, they don’t just face bumpy roads. The timeline flips between a thousand sexbots and a thousand dead bodies. On top of the NSFW footage, there is seemingly no end to the extremist ‘opinions’. You follow one post on a German shepherd and find yourself in a racist rabbit hole.
FAKE NEWS!!1!, as they say on Twitter
The charity Cycling Scotland follows the peloton of questionable case studies. Their claim that Edinburgh saw a record number of cyclists in May 2024 is backed by an average number of 1,812 bikes passing Leith Walk daily. The reopening of this previously damaged bike lane in 2023 remains a footnote. The pandemic and the emergence of food delivery cyclists? Not even mentioned. But remember, this is not a destructive waterfall; it’s streams. Just like on Twitter, if you spot fake news, get out there and prove yourself better.
The US organisation People for Bikes ranks Edinburgh as the 12th most bike-friendly city worldwide with a population over 300k. However, their ranking is solely based on digital maps, speed limits and access to infrastructure. They ignore cycling numbers, road quality or terrain, all of which are crucial for cycling, but brutal in Edinburgh.
But don’t trust politicians. The Edinburgh City Council is still debating the destruction of Roseburn Path, a rare bright spot in the city’s cycling network. Meanwhile, Transport Secretary Fiona Hyslop MSP promoted the council’s latest £17 million project. This “active travel route” is little more than an unconnected extension of the (soon-to-be-destroyed) Roseburn Path, featuring a ramp almost longer than the entire overpass itself. Need proof? Just check Fiona’s… Twitter.
The only good thing about cycling in this city is that every steep road is followed by a downhill stretch. Flying without pedalling: still chaotic, still risky, but at least fun. And, more importantly, it is efficient. If more people knew how good that feeling is, there’d be more cyclists braving this hilly hell. More riders mean more visibility, more pressure, and maybe even real change.
If we don’t ride the chaos and make the best of it, there won’t be any improvement, and the ones who stay will keep wrecking the road. Soon enough, no one will want to enter, no matter how battle-hardened they are already from cycling in Edinburgh.
*Editor’s Note – We are aware that Elon Musk renamed Twitter to X in 2023, but we think this is dumb, so we will continue to refer to Twitter as Twitter.
